Pulling Out My Hair

"Hi, this is _______ with McAfee. How can I help you?"

"Hi, I just realized that you charged $69.99 to my credit card and I wasn't sure why?"

"Okay, sir, if I could just get some information to verify the account. To what card was this charged?"

"Um, I've actually cut up the card recently, so I don't know the card number. I just have my credit card statement which only shows the last 6 digits."

"Okay, sir, how about a telephone number?"

"Um, try this one ---/---/----."

"Okay, sir, that number is not in our system. Do you have another number?"

"How about ---/---/----."

Silence.

"Okay, sir, that number is not in our system either."

Silence.

"Um, is there any other way of accessing my account that you just charged $69.99?"

Silence. I hear the sound of pages turning in the background.

"Yes, sir. Can you give me a valid email address?"

"Uh, how about --------@yahoo.com?"

"Okay, there is a McAfee account on that email address but it is valid through 2011 and there have been no charges to it."

"Um, you just charged me $69.99."

"Okay, sir, do you have another valid email address?"

"You can try ---------@yahoo.com."

Silence.

"Okay, sir, that account did have an automatic renewal option which is why you were charged $69.99."

"Oh, okay, can we take that off?"

"The automatic renewal?"

"Yes."

"Okay, sir, I've taken care of that. Will there be anything else today?"

"No, I don't think . . . wait. How much longer does that keep me protected?"

"Well, actually sir, you have also have a special offer with Dell that covers you for three years and goes through 2012."

"What? Then what was I just charged for?"

"You were charged for the automatic renewal."

"So I'm covered twice on one computer."

Silence.

"Yes, sir."

"WHY WOULD I NEED TWO SUBSCRIPTIONS?"

Silence.

"Sir, what would you like me to do with your second subscription?"

"What are my options?"

"You can transfer it to a friend or relative, you could . . ."

"Could I just get my money back?"

Silence.

"Okay, sir, your refund of $69.99 has been processed."

Time To Move On . . .

Tomorrow we move (there will probably be a few days this week that I will not blog due to all the fun involved with changing homes).

It will be a big move for us - we've been living in mom and dad's basement now for about five months, and you get used to the constant hum of a full house (not that our three bedroom will be empty). But there's something nice about intergenerational living - the kids hanging out with the grandparents, seeing my sister and grandma just about every day, spending evenings just talking and playing Scrabble.

There's also something nice about having a place of your own, and Maile and I are looking forward to it. The house we're moving to is small, but it's on two acres of forest and yard, with a stream and a garden and lots of room for the kids to run around. The timing is right.

I think it's time for a change to my blog, too. I'm realizing that you can only write about not doing something for so long, whether it's "not watching tv" or "not eating chocolate" or "not sleeping on your left side".

With all these changes taking place, I thought I'd get into retelling some of the stories that led to Maile and I moving back to Pennsylvania. There's a lot of stuff that's gone on in our lives in the last six months, exciting stuff and sad stuff and extraordinary stuff.

So, as soon as I can get Gent to finish up shawnsmucker.com, I'll start on the new blog. If you see him, tell him to stop spending so much time on the dinner theatre he is writing, directing, producing, and acting in. Tell him you are way too eager to stop reading about someone who is not watching television. (Gent, if you're reading this, I'm totally kidding. No hurry, now close this blog and get back to your production).

Okay, now that we've got rid of Gent, get on his case. We need shawnsmucker.com, and we need it now.