Pulling Out My Hair

"Hi, this is _______ with McAfee. How can I help you?"

"Hi, I just realized that you charged $69.99 to my credit card and I wasn't sure why?"

"Okay, sir, if I could just get some information to verify the account. To what card was this charged?"

"Um, I've actually cut up the card recently, so I don't know the card number. I just have my credit card statement which only shows the last 6 digits."

"Okay, sir, how about a telephone number?"

"Um, try this one ---/---/----."

"Okay, sir, that number is not in our system. Do you have another number?"

"How about ---/---/----."

Silence.

"Okay, sir, that number is not in our system either."

Silence.

"Um, is there any other way of accessing my account that you just charged $69.99?"

Silence. I hear the sound of pages turning in the background.

"Yes, sir. Can you give me a valid email address?"

"Uh, how about --------@yahoo.com?"

"Okay, there is a McAfee account on that email address but it is valid through 2011 and there have been no charges to it."

"Um, you just charged me $69.99."

"Okay, sir, do you have another valid email address?"

"You can try ---------@yahoo.com."

Silence.

"Okay, sir, that account did have an automatic renewal option which is why you were charged $69.99."

"Oh, okay, can we take that off?"

"The automatic renewal?"

"Yes."

"Okay, sir, I've taken care of that. Will there be anything else today?"

"No, I don't think . . . wait. How much longer does that keep me protected?"

"Well, actually sir, you have also have a special offer with Dell that covers you for three years and goes through 2012."

"What? Then what was I just charged for?"

"You were charged for the automatic renewal."

"So I'm covered twice on one computer."

Silence.

"Yes, sir."

"WHY WOULD I NEED TWO SUBSCRIPTIONS?"

Silence.

"Sir, what would you like me to do with your second subscription?"

"What are my options?"

"You can transfer it to a friend or relative, you could . . ."

"Could I just get my money back?"

Silence.

"Okay, sir, your refund of $69.99 has been processed."