Because Of Snow, Santa Is Not A Terrorist

I expected to be home from my rock star road trip yesterday, but I'm still in Florida (to read more about my trip with The Isaacs, see last week's posts). Turns out they can't land a plane in 18 inches of snow, and it takes two days to clear it all and get things moving again. So I'm sitting in a cafe in Sarasota (with a coat on - it's in the high forties) looking at palm trees.

I'd rather be home.

But I do get to spend a few extra days with my grandma here in Sarasota, which is nice, and this morning she and I had breakfast with three of her brothers and sisters, which was cool. I guess one of the great keys to life is staying flexible, and enjoying the surprise moments that fate hands you.

I was also thinking that Monday is a perfect day for lists. And since PA got so much snow, and I'm looking out at sand, I was trying to think of ways to cheer you all up. So here are some reasons that snow is better than sand:

- If you are stranded somewhere you can melt snow and drink it. If you melt sand all you get is glass

- Imagine eating a sand cone

- If you get a lot of snow in your car, it melts and eventually vanishes. If you get a lot of sand in your car, after being at the beach for example, it works its way into the carpet and the seats and then into your underwear and makes things very uncomfortable.

- Imagine skiing on sand at 30-40 mph and wiping out

- Imagine getting hit with a sandball in the face

- Frosty the Sand Man sounds more like a horror flick than a children's cartoon

- A snow storm is beautiful and coats the world in a layer of white. A sand storm strips the flesh from any living thing, fills your lungs with tiny particles and erodes metal.

- No one dreams of a sandy Christmas. Do they?

- Picture Santa living in the Sahara Desert. No longer chubby, jolly, dressed in robes and fair-skinned, he is now skin-and-bones, grouchy, dressed in rags and tan. Basically, if you exchange sand for snow, Santa becomes a terrorist.

I hope you guys in PA are enjoying the snow. Hopefully I'll be enjoying it with you soon.